ADHD and Decision Making: Why Is It So Hard
Why ADHD Makes Decision Making So Hard (And What Helps)
How to Get Unstuck
Ever stood in front of the fridge for ten minutes trying to decide what to eat - only to walk away and eat nothing? Or spent hours going back and forth on an email reply because you couldn’t decide how to word it “right”?
If so, I promise you're not alone.
Decision-making with ADHD can feel exhausting. Even tiny choices can feel like massive pressure, and bigger ones? Don’t even start.
But you’re not broken. You’re not indecisive on purpose. Your brain is wired differently - and once you understand what’s going on underneath, you can start to make choices more gently, and with a little less mental noise.
The ADHD Decision Trap
For many of us with ADHD, decision-making isn't just a moment of choice - it’s a spiral.
You overthink the options. You start worrying about what others will think. You imagine every possible outcome (especially the bad ones). You freeze. And then you either avoid the decision altogether… or make one impulsively and regret it later.
Sound familiar?
That’s because ADHD affects your executive functioning - the part of your brain responsible for planning, evaluating, and prioritising. So when you're faced with a choice (even a small one), your brain can get overwhelmed fast.
You might fear making the wrong decision. You might want to pick the “perfect” option. Or you might feel like the weight of the world is on every single choice.
And all of that? It’s a lot to carry.
Perfectionism Makes It Even Harder
The ADHD brain has a bit of a perfectionist streak. Often that’s because we’ve spent years making mistakes, being misunderstood, or getting things “wrong” in the eyes of others.
So we start chasing perfect. We don’t want to just make a choice - we want to make the right one.
But here’s the truth: most decisions aren’t permanent. You can tweak, change, adjust. You can say, “That didn’t work,” and try again.
Sometimes, any forward motion is better than staying stuck.
Try asking yourself:
What’s the best option for right now?
Not forever. Just for now.
When Emotions Hijack Logic
Another common ADHD trait? Emotional decision-making.
Maybe you say yes out of guilt, panic, or people-pleasing. Maybe you lash out in frustration. Or make a big life choice in the middle of a meltdown.
When your emotions are in the driver’s seat, it’s really hard to see clearly.
So before making a choice, try this:
Would I make the same decision tomorrow, or in a calmer moment?
If the answer is no, pause. Let the feeling settle. Then decide.
And if you often find yourself stuck between what you want to do and what you can do alone - there’s support for that, too. Inside the Women’s Collective Membership, my gentle 1:1 Activation Sessions help you sort through your thoughts in real time, so the decision doesn’t feel so heavy. 💛
Tiny Tools for Decision Paralysis
If you find yourself stuck overthinking every choice, try one of these gentle tools:
✅ The 2-minute rule
If it’s a decision you can make in 2 minutes or less, make it now. This clears mental clutter and builds momentum.
✅ Choose for now, not forever
Remember, you’re allowed to change your mind. Try something, adjust later.
✅ Create a “default” list
Make go-to choices ahead of time: your usual lunch, your quick email sign-off, your standard grocery order. This saves brainpower when you’re tired.
✅ Ask: What matters most here?
When you anchor your choice to your values, it becomes easier to spot what actually matters.
Rebuilding Decision-Making Trust
One of the hardest parts of ADHD-related indecision is the guilt that follows. We end up second-guessing ourselves long after the moment has passed.
But here’s the truth: every small choice you make is a step towards trust. You can get better at this. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be progress.
Start celebrating the small decisions you make every day:
Choosing what to wear
Picking a book to read
Saying “no” (or “yes”) even when it’s uncomfortable
You’re not bad at decisions. You’re learning how to work with your brain, not against it.
And if you’re still feeling stuck…
Know this: support makes a huge difference.
Inside the Women’s Collective Membership, I offer gentle, private Activation Sessions where we talk through decisions together, break them down into manageable steps, and gently move you from stuck to starting.
No pressure. No overwhelm. Just calm, compassionate support that fits your brain and your life.
Take one small step today
You don’t need to master decision-making overnight. Just try one small thing from this post:
Pause before reacting.
Choose something without overthinking it.
Let go of the idea of “perfect.”
You’re doing better than you think. And if you ever want to talk it through, I’m here.
With kindness & gratitude,
Jo xx
