ADHD and Impulsivity: What It Is and How to Handle It Gently
ADHD and Impulsivity: Why You React Before You Think
(and What You Can Do About It)
Ever blurted something out and instantly regretted it? Said yes to something you didn’t really want to do? Spent money without thinking it through, or quit something on a whim - then spent hours unpicking the aftermath?
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re in the right place. You’re not reckless. You’re not broken. You’re not too much.
You're just navigating life with ADHD - and impulsivity is a big part of that story.
In this post, we’re diving into what impulsivity really looks like, why it shows up, and how you can start responding with a little more compassion and a little less chaos. No judgement, no lectures – just practical support that actually fits how your brain works.
What impulsivity really looks like (especially with ADHD)
ADHD impulsivity isn’t just a bit of spontaneity; it can impact every part of your day. It might look like:
Saying what you’re thinking without the pause to filter it
Agreeing to something (plans, work, favours) before you’ve thought it through
Interrupting people, not because you’re rude but because the thought feels urgent
Making big decisions in the heat of the moment, and struggling to explain them later
Overspending, overeating, or overcommitting and then feeling frustrated with yourself
Often, the impulsive moment feels right. It’s later that the regret, guilt, or overwhelm kicks in. And the worst part? That little voice in your head telling you, “Why did you do that again?”
But here’s the thing...
It’s not just “bad behaviour” - it’s brain wiring
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition. That means it affects how your brain is wired, especially in areas like:
Executive function (planning, organising, decision-making)
Inhibition control (the pause between thought and action)
Emotional regulation (how intensely and quickly you feel things)
Your brain does not have the built-in “pause button” that neurotypicals have. Instead, it seeks stimulation and tends to act before thinking things through - especially when emotions or excitement are involved.
Add in low dopamine and a nervous system wired for novelty and urgency... and impulsivity just makes sense.
In the moment: how to manage an impulsive urge
The goal isn’t to never be impulsive (honestly, some impulsivity is part of your magic!). But building in a moment of awareness can make a world of difference.
Try this simple method next time you feel an impulsive wave coming on:
S.T.O.P.
Stop: Physically pause. Count to five if you can.
Take a breath: Ground your body. Feel your feet.
Observe: What’s really going on? What are you feeling?
Proceed: Make a choice - not a reaction.
It’s not always easy. But the more you practise, the more your brain learns to recognise the space between the urge and the action.
And if getting that pause in feels impossible right now - you’re not doing it wrong. You just might need a little structure and support.
Inside the Women’s Collective Membership, I offer gentle 1:1 Activation Sessions - a calm, supportive space where we work through exactly this together. Side-by-side. No pressure. Just progress. 💛
Rebuilding trust in yourself
One of the hardest things about impulsivity isn’t what happens in the moment - it’s what comes after. The guilt. The shame. The mental spiral of “Why do I always do this?”
But impulsivity is often your brain trying to meet a need quickly. That might be safety, control, stimulation, connection, or even just a dopamine hit.
What if you asked yourself:
What was I really trying to get in that moment?
When you start to see your actions with curiosity instead of criticism, you shift from shame to self-understanding. And that shift? That’s where lasting change lives.
Moving forward with more awareness (not perfection)
Here’s the truth: impulsivity probably isn’t going away completely. And that’s okay.
But with awareness, support, and compassion, you can feel more in control of how you respond - and more confident in your ability to handle what comes next.
If that feels like a lot to do on your own, you don’t have to. In our Activation Sessions, we work gently on building small habits that help reduce impulsivity over time. You bring the “this feels too much,” and I’ll bring the calm, kind scaffolding.
Because support doesn’t have to mean fixing everything. Sometimes it just means not doing it alone.
One last thing...
You’re not failing. You’re not too reactive. You’re just wired differently - and learning how to work with that wiring takes time.
Pick one gentle tool from this post to try. Just one. You don’t have to have it all figured out today.
And if you ever want a bit of support while you figure it out, I’m here.
With kindness & gratitude,
Jo xx
